Tag Archives: Al Gore

Mail Call for September 15, 2011

Mail’s in!

Dear America: English lesson. “Moo-Cow”. Noun. Female of domestic cattle. Just so ya know. (Source)

Dear Jesse Jackson: I assume you and Rev. Al will be looking into this? What’s that? Probably not? How about if they were white? (Source)
Dear Mammy: If they were as bad as you say they are, don’t you think you’d be dead by now? (Source)

Dear State of Illinois: “Send in the clowns. Send in the clowns. Don’t bother, they’re here.” (Source)

Dear Elderly Americans: Bwaaahahahahahahah! Sucker! Much love, Rep. Jim Cooper  (Source)

From: Cecilia Munoz, White House Director of Intergovernmental Affairs

To: Mis Hermanos Mexicanos

Mis hermanos mexicanos, vienen a América. La costa está clara. ¡Prisa!

(Source)

Dear President Obama: The poll numbers have just come in and you are still immensely popular … in Europe, (and among Al Qaeda, the Taliban, Hamas, Hezbollah, and MSNBC. Sorry for the redundancy). (Source)

Dear AlGore: Looks like you’ve lost another one.  (Source)

Dear Ewa Beach Elementary School Vice Principal: You wuss! (Source)

Dear Fellow Conservative Bloggers: As you have no doubt heard [OBAMA IS KILLING AMERICA], Barack Obama [LOVES TERRORISTS] has recently launched a [MERCILESS ATTACK ON THE MIDDLE CLASS] new website called “Attack Watch.” Obama [IS A COMMIE] will be [AND A MUSLIM!] utilizing this new website to monitor those [WHO TELL THE TRUTH ABOUT THE LYING SCUMBAG!] whom they claim are lying about the President [THAT HATE’S AMERICA AND LOVES TERRORISTS!], and engaging in what Obama [IS GIVING OUR COUNTRY AWAY TO ILLEGALS!] says are blatant smear tactics [AND THE MUSLIMS!]. So please [DON’T STOP TELLING THE TRUTH ABOUT HIM] conduct yourselves accordingly, and in a thoughtful and respectful manner. Thank you.

This public service announcement contains no subliminal messages.

(Source)

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Mail Call for September 12, 2011

Mail’s in!

Dear Jimmy Carter: You are absolutely correct (well mostly) when you say that under your administration “we never dropped a bomb. We never fired a bullet. We never went to war.” (Source) You seem, however, to have forgotten that you did facilitate the fall of the Shah of Iran (our ally) and the subsequent rise to power of one of the most dangerous megalomaniacal terrorist regimes in the history of the world. And need I remind you that you also facilitated the rise of al qaeda, the Taliban, and other fundamentalist orthodox muslim terrorist groups which directly led to the attacks on 9/11, by arming them and teaching them military tactics, as well as instructing them in the development and use of chemical and biological weapons. And let’s not forget that you also supported and encouraged Robert Mugabe’s dictatorial rise to power in Rhodesia, as well as the rise to power of Marxist Sandanista Daniel Ortega in Nicaragua. And, although your are no longer president, you continue to support the communist dictator regimes of Fidel Castro and Hugo Chavez. As icing on the cake of death and destruction which you have baked, you gave North Korea $4 billion worth of light water reactors and $100 million in oil in an attempt to appease Kim Jung Il and on his “promise” that he would not develop nuclear weapons (which they now have, thank you very much). (Source)

No Mr. Carter, we never dropped a bomb, we never fired a bullet, we never went to war. But you, on the other hand, are directly responsible through your actions both as president, and since leaving office, for the millions of bullets being fired, thousands of bombs being dropped, and scores of wars all resulting in the deaths of millions worldwide, including right here in America. Helluva legacy Jimmy my boy. Helluva legacy.

 

Dear Valerie Jarrett: It is time to accept reality. As you say, there is no jobs bill. But believing in the fantasy that Obama is going to somehow magically draft one is ridiculous. I suspect he will cobble together something that sounds remotely good, and then fill in the blanks once he manages to convince congress to pass it. Rest assured, however, it will fail as his other bills and policies have. (Source)

 

Dear President Obama: I realize you would like to have everyone commemorate 9/11 by engaging in community service. However, you should understand that photo ops are not considered community service. Just so you know. (Source)

 

Dear Hugo Chavez: Go for it my man! Oh yeah! I cannot encourage you enough to continue on your current path to curing your cancer. So please, keep visiting the witch doctors, shamans, faith healers, and your local botanica! Maybe you can take your buddy Fidel with you on one of your visits.  (Source)

 

Dear Debbie Wasserman Shultz: Actually, with nationwide unemployment over 9% and with the federal government now saying that it will remain there until at least 2014 (actual unemployment numbers are higher), and with 46 million Americans now receiving food stamps, and with companies failing left and right (including Obama’s baby – Solyndra), yeah, I think I can say the stimulus didn’t work. By the way, just like Anthony Weiner, you are a putz. Just so you know. (Source)

 

Dear United Nations: I hate to say I told you so, but, well, I did. (Source)

 

Dear OIC: Thank you for reiterating your condoning of terrorism. At least we know where you stand, and that we can continue to look forward to continuing terror attacks, each of which will occur with your blessing and encouragement. (Source)

cc: The World

 

Dear Aman Ali: Of course you should not condemn something you condone. Why be hypocritical? (Source)

 

Dear President Obama: Bwahahahahaha! Sorry. Now adjust your kufi, it’s crooked. (Source)

 

Dear AlGore: Does this mean you’ve purchased the Trinity Broadcasting Company? Just so you know, I don’t buy what they’re selling either. (Source)

 

Dear Paul Krugman: Welcome to the Anthony Weiner Fan Club, you will be receiving your official club membership card and t-shirt soon. (Source)

 

Dear President Obama: You might want to find a different document forger. The one you currently have isn’t producing as well as you may have originally thought. (Source)

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