Mail Call for September 15, 2011

Mail’s in!

Dear America: English lesson. “Moo-Cow”. Noun. Female of domestic cattle. Just so ya know. (Source)

Dear Jesse Jackson: I assume you and Rev. Al will be looking into this? What’s that? Probably not? How about if they were white? (Source)
Dear Mammy: If they were as bad as you say they are, don’t you think you’d be dead by now? (Source)

Dear State of Illinois: “Send in the clowns. Send in the clowns. Don’t bother, they’re here.” (Source)

Dear Elderly Americans: Bwaaahahahahahahah! Sucker! Much love, Rep. Jim Cooper  (Source)

From: Cecilia Munoz, White House Director of Intergovernmental Affairs

To: Mis Hermanos Mexicanos

Mis hermanos mexicanos, vienen a América. La costa está clara. ¡Prisa!


Dear President Obama: The poll numbers have just come in and you are still immensely popular … in Europe, (and among Al Qaeda, the Taliban, Hamas, Hezbollah, and MSNBC. Sorry for the redundancy). (Source)

Dear AlGore: Looks like you’ve lost another one.  (Source)

Dear Ewa Beach Elementary School Vice Principal: You wuss! (Source)

Dear Fellow Conservative Bloggers: As you have no doubt heard [OBAMA IS KILLING AMERICA], Barack Obama [LOVES TERRORISTS] has recently launched a [MERCILESS ATTACK ON THE MIDDLE CLASS] new website called “Attack Watch.” Obama [IS A COMMIE] will be [AND A MUSLIM!] utilizing this new website to monitor those [WHO TELL THE TRUTH ABOUT THE LYING SCUMBAG!] whom they claim are lying about the President [THAT HATE’S AMERICA AND LOVES TERRORISTS!], and engaging in what Obama [IS GIVING OUR COUNTRY AWAY TO ILLEGALS!] says are blatant smear tactics [AND THE MUSLIMS!]. So please [DON’T STOP TELLING THE TRUTH ABOUT HIM] conduct yourselves accordingly, and in a thoughtful and respectful manner. Thank you.

This public service announcement contains no subliminal messages.



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